Long Distance
by xSn0wangel
Summary: When we broke up, it felt like we were discussing the weather. An angsty Gratsu two-shot!
1. Chapter 1

When we broke up, it felt like we were discussing the weather.

I called him up for once, one night after work, because I realized it had been a while since I'd heard from him. We were trying the whole long distance thing, so I was used to not talking to him every day, but we hadn't even texted each other for half a week. It wasn't like was intentionally avoiding him and he probably wasn't doing the same to me, we had just drifted apart.

Clearly, our relationship wasn't going to last much longer and honestly, I wasn't too upset about it. Sure, we'd had a great run over the last four years, but ever since we ended up going to different colleges, we thought about each other less and less.

We'd chatted idly about our classes for a bit. Gray had recently changed his major to English, while I was still as undecided as ever. I told him about my new job at my school's library and apparently he'd quit his position as a math tutor. Apparently a good amount had happened in such a short amount of time, yet neither of us had felt the need to tell the other.

So when he brought it up, it was a casual suggestion that logically made sense so I didn't argue. We'd agreed to remain friends and said we'd do our best keep in touch, but I think both of us knew we were making empty promises.

After we said our goodbyes, I hung up and started on my copious amount of homework that I'd put off for as long as I could. Another hour passed before I gave up for the night, I could always wake up early and finish whatever was left before class.

Climbing into bed, I glanced briefly over at my roommate's empty bed. Gajeel had slept in our room perhaps twice the entire school year. It didn't matter if he had an exam, work, or anything else, he always stayed the night in his girlfriend Levy's room. I never blamed him though, if Gray and I had gone to the same college I would've done the same thing.

I woke from a dreamless sleep the next morning and hurriedly rushed through my last-minute assignments before running off to class.

Weeks passed in the blink of an eye.

Staring at my lock-screen one day, I wondered why the date seemed significant for some reason. A few minutes later I recalled that it was Gray's birthday.

Friends always text each other on their birthdays and so I sent him a text. I didn't say anything special, it was just a simple wish for him to have a happy birthday.

His response came back quickly.

 _Who is this?_

He'd deleted my number from his phone already. Part of me thought he might have done it right after we broke up. But how could he remove me from his contacts after we were friends for so long? How could he forget about everything we'd done together?

Gray and I had finally become something less than enemies once we'd hit high school. It was another year after that, we somehow became much more than friends. There was something about the way he always pushed my boundaries, like he wasn't afraid to get burned. It wasn't easy for me to get close enough for him to let me in, but it was totally worth it.

We were completely head over heels for each other after a while. It was the kind of love that was all encompassing. Somehow we filled in each other's gaps in ways I still don't fully understand and didn't try to because it just worked.

By some miracle, I got accepted to my dream college, but Gray hadn't even applied there. He urged me to go anyways, told me that our relationship was strong enough that the distance wouldn't matter. Maybe that should've been enough for me to stay.

Tears gathered in my eyes as everything began to add up.

I'd always been the wild fire that blazed forward. Gray had never tried to tame me, if anything he'd always fanned the flames. But, somewhere along the way, I'd burned on without him and I was stupid enough to think I could keep going on forever without flickering out. The sad part was that I hadn't looked back until I was too far gone.

Till I'd forgotten how I'd call him just to hear his voice, that even though we were in different time zones, he'd wake up early to wish me good morning before I had to go to class, the insane amount of hours I'd work to save up enough money to visit him for the holidays, how sexy he looked when he ran his fingers through his hair, our first kiss on my sixteenth birthday, the framed picture of us on his bedside table, our promise to never cry alone, and many other treasured memories.

I picked up my phone because I had to call him. If I could just dial his number, I would find the words to say to convince him that we shouldn't have broken up. There had to be something that would change his mind, that would give _us_ some meaning beyond what we used to be.

Then the doubts started crawling into my mind. Maybe he didn't have any feelings for me anymore. What if he'd left me, because he'd found somebody better?

If I was fire, then Gray was a beautiful ice sculpture. He was cool, solid, and slow to change. I had melted my way to his heart, but without my flames keeping it warm, it was likely that it'd re-crystallized.

Once we'd started growing apart, I'd instantly believed his feelings were the same as my own. I assumed that he didn't mind the rift slowly forming between us, that he was too busy to keep in touch. But maybe he noticed right away when I stopped calling him every day, that I started talking more about myself instead of asking about him, and how our declarations of love became nothing but words.

He could've suggested we break up because he thought I would be happier un-tethered to him. Maybe it was too painful seeing my name while scrolling through his contacts. All he could think to do was erase my presence from his life.

How could I leave him alone and expect him to hang around and wait for me?

My phone slipped through my fingers as I realized my memories would have to remain frozen in time.

Because I'd ended up so far away from Gray, that it was my heart that ended up freezing.

L7L7L7L7

I re-wrote this story three times but I'm still not sure about it. Please let me know if there's some way it could be improved. Thanks (:


	2. Chapter 2

It was childish, immature, stupid, and inconsiderate, but when my phone vibrated and I saw he'd sent me a happy birthday text, the rational side of my brain completely shut down. In its place, the vindictive part of me, that normally lay dormant, fought its way to the surface.

As simple as it sounds, I wanted to hurt him, because he'd hurt me.

There was really no other way to describe it or to justify the cruelness of my actions. Making him think that I deleted him from my phone, every text, picture, and video of him after only two months?

It was malicious! At least I thought it would be, though my heart constricted painfully in my chest at the mere consideration of not knowing if he would even care. Maybe he didn't remember my birthday until he saw it on facebook, then when he went to text me, he forgotten that he'd changed my name to something he didn't have the audacity to say in front of his mother. Seeing my response, he probably just shrugged and went back to hanging out with his new boyfriend.

But—

I knew Natsu better than anyone and he wasn't like that ! Sure, he'd changed slightly over the years, but my boyfriend was warm, like molten rock warm. His love flowed from the chasms of his heart like magma, the deeper I went, the hotter it was. There was a seemingly endless supply bubbling up from the depths of his soul and I'd reveled in the beauty of it.

Yet, sometimes his love hardened like cooling lava as it moved further away from the source. He always kept the things he valued close but if they drifted, he was the first one to forget about them. It didn't make him an uncaring person, Natsu just had a short attention span and was always looking ahead to the future. Being so far away, it was easy for me to understand why he'd eventually stopped talking to me.

Why things had progressed to the point where his volcano of feelings had gone extinct, or at least, for me.

I wasn't surprised when I didn't get a response from him. Shutting him down like that only proved that I was still angry, that I wasn't ready to move on.

I didn't want to get over him, didn't even want to try, which was hilarious considering I'd been the one who suggested we break up in the first place. It wasn't something I hadn't really wanted so when I mentioned it, I prayed he would fight against it.

But he didn't, he simply agreed, and I was heartbroken.

In my defense, I was stupid when it came to conveying my feelings! I could feel them down to my very core, knew the words to say, and then when I opened my mouth to speak it was like my tongue went numb and there was a sheet of ice between Natsu and I.

Before the distance had gotten between us, he'd sensed it, had melted it whenever he saw fit. He could say exactly what was on my mind by gazing into my eyes.

Which sort of made me wonder if he couldn't see anything, because he was so far away. He didn't realize that he had layers to burn through, chambers to fill, forgotten tunnels that stretched every which way.

What made me think that Natsu's love was extinct, when it could have just been dormant! The molten lava was present beneath the surface, swirling about as it waited patiently for the next opportunity to arise, for it to erupt!

I picked up the phone because I needed to know for sure. He needed to defrost before I put up enough walls that he could never get past all of them ever again.

"Hello?" answered his defeated, tired voice that I wasn't sure how to interpret.

"Natsu…" My mouth had gone dry after merely speaking his name and it choked me up slightly.

"Happy Birthday," he said before I could continue. It sounded genuine, but lacked the warmth I desired.

"Thanks, but that's not why I called."

Wait, what was the reason I called again? It had seemed so simple until I'd actually went ahead and done it. This awkwardness…this distance…why did it have to hang over us like this?

"I wish I could've spent it with you," he continued as though I hadn't said anything. "I miss you."

"I miss you too," I replied instantly without even thinking about it and a small smile spread across my lips. My phone pressed closer to my face as I worked up the nerve to say what was on my mind.

"Well, uh…how have you been?" he asked a bit timidly though it really was an innocent question. Still, it made me want to rip my hair out! If we went back to acting like this, with this terrible small-talk, then nothing could change and nothing would get better!

"I've been alright. School's kept me busy enough. What about you?" My hand fisted angrily in my shorts at the fact that I was just going along with it!

"Same, haven't met anyone worth hanging out with either. No one compares to…" he trailed off. My fingers uncurled at the volunteered information. The idiot was always such an open book, even on the phone.

"Natsu…" I tried again, though I still didn't get past his name. However, I think he imagined my tone as something else.

"It's okay, I get it. I want you to be happy Gray, even if it's not with me."

"I—" He cut me off.

"I know we had something great going, but I screwed it up and if I could I'd go back and kick myself for ever treating you like that."

He paused for a moment, though I heard him take a deep breath.

"I wish that I would've gone to the same school as you, because maybe I wouldn't have been stupid enough to let you slip through my fingers. Ah…" He laughed a bit awkwardly. "I'm sorry, I don't want you to think I'm trying to…with your current relationship….but…"

I waited impatiently for him to continue because each word he said seemed to get better and better.

"I never stopped loving you, not even a second. I'll admit that I got caught up in other things like classes and work, and you know I can barely focus on one thing at a time. It just sucks that we were together so long, beat so many odds, learned so much about each other just to break up because of a little distance."

"Please forgive me for saying all this on your birthday, I just never got closure you know? It's hard for me accept it and move on."

He stopped again though I couldn't be sure if he'd said his whole say.

"Gray? You there? Wait…did I just say all that to nobody?! Fu—"

"Shut up, I'm here. You done?"

"Uh, I guess," he said hesitantly but I probably would've been pretty unsure too if I laid my whole heart out on the line to someone that was supposedly taken by another guy.

"I don't want to move on," I admitted. "I still love you and I'll be damned if this is the end for us because you're not getting away that easily."

"What?" He sounded pretty confused which was to be expected.

"Do you need to clean your ears out or something? I said that I'm not letting you go, so you're just going to have to deal with it, even if I have to transfer to your university!" I had considered it several times anyways, his school was pretty distinguished but I certainly had the grades to get in if I ever felt so inclined.

"You…what?"

"I'm single still. Plus, it was my idea to break up so it's only fair that it's my decision to get back together again, right?"

He didn't answer right away, but I thought I heard a sniffle from his side of the line.

"Natsu?"

"…I love you so much."

"I love you too," I answered without thinking again, because that was the reason I'd called him up in the first place. He hadn't disappointed either with his sweet, warm words that melted any ice trying to hole up my heart.

What we'd needed all along was to talk it out, though breaking it off probably helped more than anything. We didn't know what we had until we were trying to life without it and it was just the wake up that both of us needed.

He didn't realize that he was letting go and I didn't know how to hold on.

Would we make the same mistakes again?

No one could say for sure, but that didn't mean we weren't going to try.

The distance between us was easy to forget when I saw his smiling face pop up on Skype every morning, when I changed my phone's wallpaper back to an embarrassingly sweet selfie of us, and when he saved up enough money to come visit me during the next winter break. We promised to pick up each other's calls or ring back, send stupidly entertaining snapchats, and text about anything and everything.

The distance between us, was only as far as we made it out to be.

L7L7L7L7


End file.
